


Pony Pals 2: 2 Fast 2 Furious

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 08:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dirk prepares a surprise to cheer up his girlfriend</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pony Pals 2: 2 Fast 2 Furious

The Girl Who Hated Ponies? Nope.

Magic Pony? Nope.

Too Many Ponies? Definitely not.

The Saddest Pony? That looks promising.

You click that title and frown at the page that comes up. The summary is only a few sentences long, and not nearly enough to decide if this is the one or not. You scroll down to look at the details. 87 pages, but Detective Pony was 79. That’s not too much longer, though you’ll probably start struggling somewhere around 75 like last time.

Then again, this story is supposed to cheer Jane up. You can’t have your girlfriend being sad, no sir. And a story called The Saddest Pony is probably still going to be sad, no matter how heavily you edit it. You close the tab and return to the list of all the titles in the series.

It’s amazing, there are 44 of these stupid books, giving you 43 options, and none of them are good enough. Maybe that’s because you already picked the best one for her birthday all those years ago. Can you really top Detective Pony?

Well, you can sure as hell try.

Determined to really concentrate on your options, you start opening them in new tabs until those tabs get too little to show more than the amazon favicon. You begin reading the descriptions more carefully this time.

The first one doesn’t give you anything to work with. The reviews on the second one are all wanking over one reviewer who doesn’t know the difference between ponies and horses, which distracts you for a good fifteen minutes before you decide not to use that book. The third looks too shitty to salvage. The fourth looks promising, but maybe you should stick to something Acorn-centric.

The fifth one gives you exactly what you want. Pony to the Rescue. It’s 112 pages, but with a description like that you think you could fill those extra pages. Hell yes, this is actually perfect.

Thirty dollars and twenty-six hours later, you’re the official owner of a brand new copy of Pony to the Rescue. You spend the next four hours reading and taking notes. You do this the same way you did the Detective Pony  book; on one page you make an outline of the actual plot, and on another you start brainstorming ideas for how you alter that plot based on your initial reaction to the book.

Somewhere between finishing your reading and beginning the actual editing, you’re interrupted by your cell phone. Seeing as you haven’t been online all day, you should probably answer it. The ringtone cuts short before you grab your cell, telling you it was a text. When you pick it up, you see it’s from Jane.

“Hey, we’re still on for tomorrow, right?”

You check the date and see that you and Jane are, in fact, on for tomorrow. As you are every Wednesday. Because that’s a thing. She texts you to confirm every Tuesday night as well. You’re not sure if that’s because she needs constant reassurance, or because you tend to get so wrapped up in your projects that you forget what day of the week it is. It could be both though, you guess.

As usual, you send back “Of course. Do you even have to ask?”

It only takes her about half a minute to reply. “Guess not. See you then! <3” You don’t think it’s really necessary to reply again, so you almost don’t. Quickly, you send back a “<3” and slam the phone back on the table. Jane doesn’t text back after that, leaving you free to get back to work.

It takes you another hour to pick through your notes and figure out where you’re going with it. It takes you another ten minutes to gather the materials you need; blank paper, scotch tape, soda, Cheetos.  You check the time – 8 o’clock. If you remember right, this stage took you about twelve hours total last time. That means you can have the book ready for her tomorrow if you work quickly and don’t sleep. You weren’t planning on doing that originally but yeah, that sounds like an awesome idea.

With that, you throw yourself into your work. On average, each page takes you five minutes. Occasionally you have to reprint something in a smaller font or come up with something different entirely, but you make good time. You’re halfway done by midnight.

At a quarter past one, you finally reach the point that was hardest for you last time; the point where you screw the editing and start writing a completely new story. You slow down significantly once you have to start writing yourself.  You have your notes to go by, but a little over forty pages to write.

Well, the idea of getting this done tomorrow is enough motivation to keep you pushing past the parts that get you stuck.

Around sunrise, you think you’ve written three quarters of what you need to. After wasting entirely too much time and paper and ink getting the format correct, you paste the pages that you’ve done so far and count what you have left.

Yeah, you’ve got twenty pages left.

That means you should come up with some new ideas to use up all that space. Well, you could do another body count appendix for a few of those pages. You could kill Lil Sebastian and bring him back as a pony cyborg and write a second appendix on the science that goes over the heads of most of the pony club…but Jane probably wouldn’t care, so maybe not.

The pony cyborg thing sounds like a good idea though, so you roll with it. With so many pages to fill, you can’t really afford to toss ideas like that. That arc wastes about five pages anyway, so hey.

When you finally finish your work, you’ve got half an hour to get ready for Jane. You pat yourself on the back as you step in the shower. You don’t have time for standing there fucking around as you usually do, but that’s alright.

You hear the doorbell about ten minutes early. Grabbing the new and improved Pony to the Rescue book from your desk, you rush to answer it. When you answer the door, Jane is there with her hands clasped in front of her and her lips curving into a little smile.

You exchange greetings with her and step back to let her in, and hold the book out to her. She looks down at it, slightly confused until she sees what it actually is.

“Oh my god, Dirk, did you do another one?” she laughs as she takes it. As you close the door behind her, she examines the cover, which you made no alterations to this time except adding your name. (You dotted the ‘I’ with a heart, because why the fuck not.)

You make a vague noise of affirmation as you watch her react to it. She flips open to the table of contents. Your smile mirrors hers as she giggles at it. That smile is the exact reason you made the book at all, so you think you can count it a success.

Without much of a warning at all, she throws her arms around you and gives you a kiss on the cheek. “I love it!”

“You haven’t even read it yet,” you point out, but you return the hug.

“I know, but I still love it.” She pulls back enough to smile up at you. You’re about to argue further, but she kisses you before you can say a word. Jane blushes as she breaks it and buries her face in your shoulder. You try not to laugh, you really do, but she can still feel you shaking as you try.

But really, if this is your reward, you think you can find a way to do the other forty goddamn books for her.


End file.
